Even if you're using one of the best elite singles dating sites in the world, you're likely to get hurt. Frankly, it's possible to get hurt in any relationship, and as long as you engage in online dating, it's inevitable. But in a relationship, not knowing how to express how much she hurts you is the trickiest thing of all. It's not easy to tell someone that she hurt you. If it's your girlfriend and you're worried about appearing sensitive or weak, it's even harder! In a long-term relationship, it's perfectly normal for men to feel hurt for a variety of reasons.
But how? Don't worry: we have some tips to make your date as smooth as possible. Everyone has the ability to hurt and be hurt: the difference between adults and children is that the former should be able to handle it gracefully.
If she's defensive, don't get angry Most women don't want to admit that they have the power to cause harm to others, especially if they don't mean it. If you face her, she will not immediately apologize or kneel at your feet to beg for forgiveness. (it would be strange if she did!) You might say angrily, "what do you mean, don't you think you've done something wrong?" You screwed up. You're acting like a horrible person. How can you have zero responsibility?" Wait, that's just wrong. When you find that she doesn't acknowledge the hurt she has caused you, don't get angry or blame her. Stay calm. You're here. You can help her see it little by little. If you get angry, lose your cool, and turn the conversation into an emotional battle, you're literally ruining all your good jobs. Remember, your anger won't make her realize how much she hurts you!
Say something like, "I understand you don't think you did anything wrong. But I'm still hurt, and your intentions can't change the impact. I hope you see that." This is a good framework. By pointing out your intentions to her you don't lessen the impact, and you logically refute her without blushing or yelling at her. If you say so, she's more likely to see (and want to admit) her mistake.
Explain why it bothers you Maybe you think she hurt you, but she didn't think it hurt you. For example, if something about her ex hurts you, say something like, "when you compare me to your ex, I feel insecure -- like I'm not good enough. I've been thinking about it because it makes me think you're not as happy with me as you are with him." Remember, she may not have meant to hurt you -- she may have been careless and unaware that her words could have hurt you unintentionally! How can she find out if you don't explain it to her?
Make sure you explain it clearly and don't let her guess. Let her know where she hurt you so she won't do it again. Be patient -- yes, you may feel silly about saying it, but it's better than feeling sorry for yourself, and it's actually ok. Either way, you feel right, but if you can explain why you feel that way, so much the better.
No promotion Don't say things like "you always do something" or "you're a pain in the ass." Generalization is a hard habit to break, but in this case, it's not helpful, it just makes your girlfriend want to stay away from you. And you're just going against her! To move on, you have to let her off her guard, which won't happen if you make extensive comments about her bad behavior or general tendency to hurt her feelings. If she's not a habitual criminal, don't describe her that way.
You'd better point out how badly she hurt you the first time: the other night, when you were gossiping about us to your friends -- it bothered me. "Then don't bring it up again. This way, you don't let her feel that you are oppressing her, and you have a place to refer to: something she can't refute. She must deal fairly with the problem; It's better than you two arguing.
Resolve it ahead of time This kind of thing should not be put off, or it will be more serious. While this fragile admission can be scary, that's why it's important. Don't dismiss it as a minor problem. If you are hurt by something your elite girlfriend has done, and you pretend not to be, it will fester inside you and cause resentment that will eventually explode into anger. Put yourself in other people's shoes. Do you want your girlfriend to behave well when things aren't going your way? No, so don't force yourself to behave well.
Simply telling her how you feel will make her more empathetic and less likely to be defensive! Instead of blaming her, use your emotions to ease the tension in the conversation. You just have to say what you really feel inside and let it happen.
Finally, give her a direction to go Tell her she hurt you, and then what? It's not enough to tell her she hurt you. What do you want? What do you need from her? What do you think will happen? If you want her to change, fine, tell her, but do it gently and end on a positive note. Say something like, "I don't know where we're going, but I'm confident we'll find the answer. I love you, I'm telling you this because I don't want to get hurt like this again. Think about it. Let's try to be more careful with each other's feelings. Will you?"
When faced with bad news, people struggle to find a way to deal with it: what can they do to alleviate the situation? What concrete action can they take? How can they reduce this from happening again? So if you give her some concrete examples of action -- "let's promise not to hurt each other at will" -- she'll feel clearer, she'll know what she's supposed to do, and she'll probably follow your lead. This will only strengthen your relationship. Good luck!
A good relationship should not be one of constant tolerance, it will only have a big explosion at the end. If you want to move on, tell her what you think, just in a right way. Join the best elite dating websites where you can interact with honest elite singles who are looking for a real partner and start your own luxury dating adventure now!
© 2019 All Rights Reserved | Design by EliteDatingWebsite.org